At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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