Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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