So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
