Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
