i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
