Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
