I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
