I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
