he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
