I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
