addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
