I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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