'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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