Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
