oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
