Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
