whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize