why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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