I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
