Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
People in love make me want to vomit
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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