Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
