Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
