it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
vagina is talking i cant
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
