i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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