I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
