I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize