ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it penis luge time yet?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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