oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I did not marry a roomba.
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