I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
