There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
