Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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