She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
