Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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