just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
