the day after is always just damage control
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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