he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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