before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
