my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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