I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
