you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
