I'm lost and stupid without you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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