Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
