dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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