Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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