There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize