She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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