The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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