Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
