Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Randomize
