That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
