at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
