I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
