you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
