lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
