So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
