Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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