roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
