i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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