She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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