i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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