Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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