dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
